Welcome to EPJ’s online marketplace – The Tchotchkes Shop, where every purchase comes with a get-out-of-guilt-free card. We’re talking Jewish guilt…aka “the serious stuff.” Really! Part of the proceeds from all EPJ sales (products online at eatsporkjew.com or with other retailers) go to MAZON, a non-profit devoted to fighting hunger around the world.
tchotch·kes (plural/noun informal): small objects that are decorative rather than strictly functional; trinkets.
Bagel Lover’s T-shirt
As bagel purists with parents from New York and New Jersey, we subscribe to the theory that the best bagels are first boiled and then baked. Otherwise they come out too much like cake! Unfortunately this old-school way of making bagels is dying out. So to keep the tradition alive, we set out to come up with a slogan that will unite the masses! A few months later, we found UK-based Ian Barnard, a hand letterer and artist who lives outside of London, and commissioned this kick-ass design for our bagel brothers and sisters. The shirts are currently at the imprinters and we’ll be getting them soon, but you’re more than welcome to place your orders now, and we’ll ship them out ASAP.
Funny Jew-Dog Hanukkah Cards (variety packs)
If you’re tired of the same old boring Hanukkah cards adorned with menorahs and dreidels then we’ve got you covered! EatsPorkJew’s latest schwag is a variety pack of 6 or 12 Hanukkah cards (one/two each of six different designs) for anyone with a sense of humor, or a love of dogs, or both. Check out the designs below and place your order in time for Hanukkah….or if you’re a procrastinator like me (you know who you are), order them now for next year. *actual cards are 5×7 inches and printed on 120# card stock with a matte finish so ink doesn’t run. They do NOT include the “rights owned by www.EatsPorkJew.com” watermark on the front like you see in the images below.
Doesn’t matter if you’re Jewish or gentile, if you eat pork or not; the EatsPorkJew t-shirt is stylishly simple and perfect for you! With our iconic orange logo centered on the front, it definitely makes a statement! What that is, we’re not sure, but if you have some ideas, we’re all ears. In the meantime, these charcoal gray crew neck t-shirts are 100% cotton (sooooo soft) and come in all adult sizes (unisex) and youth sizes (sexed). The graphic on the front is the vertical portion of our logo with an EPJ pig that’s been speared by a fork, designed by Israeli artist Deb Houben. On the left sleeve are the words “Eats Pork Jew” in case someone asks “Hey what’s with the pig?” and that’s it. Simple and totally wearable for a jog outside or an afternoon of running errands. The perfect gift for your pork-loving Jewish foodie friends who you don’t mind buying a gift because it’s less than $25. What? We’re just being honest. *shirts are retail cut and tend to run on the smaller end of the size scale. So if you’re somewhere between a medium and a large…..I’d go for the large.
EatsPorkJew Baby Onsie
Isn’t one of the benefits of having a kid the ability to dress him/her up in silly outfits and embarrass them before they’re old enough to call CPS? I’m serious….there’s got to be some ROI for all the diaper changes and sleepless nights, right? Exactly! Babies are the perfect accessory for today’s stylish dual income parents, and with an EatsPorkJew onsie, you’ll be the mom all the other moms wish they had growing up. Trendy and full of edge, the EPJ onsie is practical, soft, and good for a laugh! *Onsies come in 0-6 months and 6-12 month sizes.